I wish I could teleport
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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