I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize