I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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