I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
