You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
