Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
