No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
