They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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