Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In America we eat man semen.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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