WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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