he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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