Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
