im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
