i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
