She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
