doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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