This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
