ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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