Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
there is glitter all over my balls
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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