So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize