Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
