Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
