Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
