listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
