Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
