went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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