I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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