i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner