there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.