Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize