The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
