Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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