if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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