I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
