SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
