Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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