Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
