she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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