Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize