Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
