it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got inside last night via doggy door
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
