I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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