Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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