tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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