I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
