either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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