I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
