I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
