Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
