dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
