tell your sister to shave her snatch
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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