That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I believe in your delicious
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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