And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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