Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
