some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
