Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
