I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
