i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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