Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
