we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
