The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
