i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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