I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
