im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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