So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
