i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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