She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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