I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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