what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
