my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
