How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
this is an emotional support booty call
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
