just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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